Tubelight- 50 Shades of Yakeen

Director- Kabir Khan

Cast- Salman Khan, Sohail Khan, Zhu Zhu, Om Puri, Mohammed Zeeshan, Matin Rey Tangu

Most overrated dialogue- "Kya tumhe yakeen hai?"

The film starts with Salman Khan telling us about his town Jagatpur where he was born before Independence. All his classmates addressed him as Tubelight as he was slow in picking up things.

So let's see how this word "Yakeen" became such an important part of Laxman's life..

1. When Laxman was around 10, Gandhiji came and told him that if he has faith in his heart he can do anything. The seed of 'yakeen' was planted.

2. Laxman's brother, Bharat asks him when he is riding a bike, 'Kya tumhe yakeen hai?'. Laxman falls so the 'yakeen' seed is still dormant.

3. Bharat keeps trying but no result. Yakeen - dormant

4. Same as above

5. Bharat who has grown up now and calls his  big brother "Kaptaan" asks, Kaptaan, kya tumhe yakeen hai, while jumping into a deep lake from a high rock. Laxman says, mujhe 'yakeen' hai agar Mai yaha se kooda to mai mar jaunga. Yakeen seed is still dormant.

6. A new character Banne Chacha comes and tells Bharat that unhe "Yakeen" hai that there will be no war so he should go and meanwhile he will take care of Laxman.

7. When Bharat is unsure Chacha tells him that as they are so poor he can get good pension once he leaves the army. Now the only proof that Bharat and Laxman are poor is that they both wear white baniyans which have small holes. They have perfectly groomed hair, glowing face but as they are "gareeb" so the holes. Now it's our turn to place our "Yakeen" that they are actually gareeb!

8. Finally Bharat puts his "yakeen" on Banne Chacha and enrolls himself in the Indian army.

9. A magician comes into town and asks Laxman, 'Kya tumhe yakeen hai'? He says that if Yakeen hai then he can move the bottle. He teaches a pose to Laxman. Somehow the bottle moves. The dormant seed of "yakeen" is now turning into a sapling.

10. Laxman tells Banne chacha that because of his "Yakeen" he moved a bottle.

11. Banne Chacha asks him to repeat and when he's unable to move, chacha shifts the bottle and tells Laxman that his "yakeen" made him move the bottle. Now the sapling has become a young plant.

12. Very innocently Laxman asks chacha, "Mujhe aur Yakeen kaha se Milega, bahut sara Yakeen?" 

I remember this was the point when most of the people in the audience took out their phones and started checking their messages or Facebook.

13. Laxman gets friendly with a kid and keeps telling him about the power of "yakeen"

14. Laxman's classmate who always bullied him tells him that if he has "Yakeen" he should prove it by moving a distant mountain.

15. Laxman does his famous pose which has now become the butt of many jokes. The villagers all collect around him to see if his "yakeen" can really move the mountain.

 16. Somehow the mountain moves and now Laxman's "yakeen" has become a full fledged tree.

17. The villagers are so impressed with Laxman that in their free time they discuss how his "Yakeen" moved a mountain. There is a scene where they are discussing how the mountain was slightly to the left before.

18. The guy who bullied Laxman also tries to test the power of "Yakeen" at his home but is unable to move the bottle because obviously his role is not author-backed!

19. More talks of "yakeen"

20. Same as above

21. Same as above

22. Same as above

23. Same as above

24. Same as above

25. As Laxman's "yakeen" becomes stronger even a senior army officer asks him to use his "Yakeen" to stop the war.

26. Half of the audience must have been in half sleep with the word "yakeen" still ringing in their ears.

27. Laxman tests his "yakeen" one more time and jumps into the deep lake and when he comes out alive he is assured that "yakeen" is a magical thing.

28. Laxman again tries his famous pose facing towards the mountain, poor villagers wonder what he is trying to do with his "Yakeen" this time.

29. The next day everyone is seen congratulating Laxman that his "yakeen" had worked wonders again and a "Laxman Rekha" has been drawn between India and China.

30. Everyone celebrates the victory of "Yakeen" by dancing to the radio song.

31. Only if the film had ended here we would have been spared from more motivational talks on "yakeen"

32. The film moves ahead and a severe storm threatens to uproot the tree of "yakeen" from Laxman's heart.

33. A new character Liling comes into picture and again asks the quintessential question "Kya Tumhe Yakeen hai"

34. Poor Laxman has nothing left to do but tries to find ways in which his "Yakeen" can bring major changes.

35. Laxman cries and tries

36. Same as above

37. Same as above

38. Same as above

39. People have started talking with each other, kids are crying, audience can't wait to leave.

40. More crying and talks

41. Same as above

42. Audience is desperate now

43. Finally audience prayers get answered and the writer decides that too much dose of "Yakeen" has been given to the audience.

44. The film ends with Salman's voice-over, "Yakeen tubelight ki tarah hota hai, der se jalta hai lekin jab jalta hai to full light kar deta hai"

45. I wonder how much "Yakeen" Kabir Khan had in this story that he convinced Salman Khan who is known to play larger than life roles to play the role of a dimwit who neither had charm or charisma and acted like a lost case throughout the film.

46. I wonder how much "yakeen" Salman Khan had in Kabir Khan that after doing a very powerful character of Tiger in Ek Tha Tiger , followed by a lovable character of Pawan in Bajrangi Bhaijaan, he agreed to play the dull and dumb Laxman.

47. Maybe the team of Tubelight had too much "yakeen" in Salman Khan's fandom and so neither they gave a love interest to the main hero or any good dialogues on which the audience can whistle and clap.

48. The film was released in 4350 screens in India and 1200 screens overseas. The "Yakeen" of the makers must have been hugely dented when it recorded the lowest Eid opening in 5 years.

49. I don't know how will Kabir Khan manage to restore our "yakeen" in his story telling and directorial skills after giving such a lack lusture film like Tubelight.

50. Salman Khan's fans have no need to worry as he will be back by the end of 2017 with Tiger Zinda Hai and with the beautiful Katrina on his side the film will "yakeenan" make new records.

In a line, it looks like Kabir Khan had too much faith in this story but guess his "yakeen" was not enough and it failed to move the hearts of the audiences.

You will only appreciate the film if you are a die-hard Salman Khan fan or a Tubelight!!

Sultan~ The Uncrowned Box Office King

Release date- 6th July 2016

One Word which describes the film- Uplifting

Best Dialogue- "Asli pehalwan ki pehchaan akhade mein nahi, zindagi mein hove hai... taki jab zindagi tumhe patke toh tum phir khade ho aur aaisa daanv maro ki zindagi chitt ho jaye."

Genre- Sports/ Drama

Music- Vishal-Shekhar

Producer- Aditya Chopra

Story & Direction- Ali Abbas Zafar

Cast- Salman Khan, Anushka Sharma, Randeep Hooda, Amit Sadh

Budget- 75-80 Crores approximately

Sultan Ali Khan is a simple hearted man who falls in love with a wrestler and enters wrestling to win her heart. How his life changes after that is what the film is about.

Salman Khan makes a grand entry in black underwear, over a perfectly muscular body and gives his opponent a 'dhobi pachaad' which makes us clap and whistle. After that the story becomes slow until he receives a slap from the love of his life. We again see some action followed by some drama and some really bad choreographed dances by Farha Khan.
Salman is surely not obsessed by how he looks in the film as in most of the scenes he looks old and worn out. His character is real, who cries, goes through heart break and still when the time comes collects all his strength to fight a new battle handled to him by life.
So there is this cute guy who innocently tells a girl, 'Manne lage hai ki angrezi mein ladki jaldi pate hai. I love you bolo aur uske baad seedha kiss hove hai', and in the same note later tells the girl's father, 'ShahRukh ka mazak mat udao, manne bahut pasand hai, jab wo ladki ki ankh mein dalke dekhe hai na to andhi ladki bhi pat jaave hai'.
His change in looks in the second half is drastic but still in many scenes we get a glimpse of the simple guy who made us smile with his innocent remarks.

Anushka Sharma as Aarfa gives tough competition to Salman in the wrestling and acting departments. There is a love story between them but there are no great dialogues to express the intensity of their feelings for each other. We get to see them together in between songs but without dialogues they fail to establish their chemistry in our minds.

There were rumors of Sylvester Stallone and later of Sanjay Dutt playing the role of Sultan's coach but the role is finally played by Randeep Hooda and how well has he has portrayed the character. The story becomes fast and pacy with his entry. When he says,'I don't train dead people', we see a new life coming in Sultan's eyes too. He's a true coach urging his student to first give his best and then a little more. His words,'Woh dus maarenge aur tu ek maarega ... us ek mein dus ka vazan hoga',  echos  in Sultan's mind and makes him fight with new energy and vigor.

Salman Khan's films are known for his one-liners but here the title song is it's life and soul.
'Khoon mein tere mitti, Mitti mein tera khoon Upar Allah niche dharti, Beech mein tera junoon' Aye Sultan!

'Jag Ghoomiya', a melodious romantic number was supposed to be sung by Arijit Singh
but after his much publicized tiff with Salman Khan his version was removed from the film
and in its place we get to hear the song sung by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan which was not
at all soulful.

The film has released in 4350 screens and with almost 85% occupancy rate and a 5
day weekend the film can have the highest weekend earning record of almost 
150-170 Crores. The film was expected to make new records of 350-400 Crores but 
because of an average story line and lack of powerful dialogues it'll be a task for the film to
even touch the 300 Crore mark. Madaari and Great Grand Masti releasing on 15th July
will also effect the business of Sultan, once the initial euphoria of it's release has ended.

In a line, the film is about how at times you just have to die a little inside
to be reborn and rise again from the ashes like the Phoenix.

Good one time watch. Paisa-wasool.

Return of 'Perfection Personified' Prem

Release date- 12'th November 2015

One Word which describes the film - Melodrama

Most Overrated Dialogue - 'Main wapas aa gaya, main wapas aa gaya.' 

Genre- Romance/ Drama 

Music-Sanjoy Chowdhury, Himesh Reshammiya

Producer-Ajit Kumar Barjatya, Kamal Kumar Barjatya

• Rajkumar Barjatya
• 
  

Story & Screenplay- Sooraj R. Barjatya

Direction -Sooraj R. Barjatya

Cast- Salman Khan, Sonam Kapoor, Neil Nitin Mukesh

• Anupam Kher, Deepak Dobriyal, Swara Bhaska, Armaan Kohli

Budget- 80-90 Crores

Prem Ratan Dhan Payo is out and out a typical Sooraj Barjatya film which simply proves the wisdom behind this dialogue ,'Har film ka ek hi hero hota hai..director.' In 26 years Sooraj Barjatya has directed just 6 films and except Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon (2003), all have been blockbusters. All his films have a central character called 'Prem' who is very idealistic and can not hurt anyone even in his dreams. Prem is perfection personified.

Salman Khan and Sonam Kapoor sounded like a very odd pair from start but when you see them on screen you won't mind them as the film is not about their love, it's about family and the perfect Prem keeps reminding you throughout the film that, 'lucky hai wo log jinke pas family hai.'

If instead of Salman Khan, Sooraj Barjatya had casted anyone else the film would have not have been able to post such great collections as the audience has become very critical these days which can be seen from the poor box office collections of Shaandaar, Jazbaa , Phantom and Katti Batti.

Salman Khan combined with the 5 days Diwali holidays and no other major release

 helped the film to collect 100 crores in just 3 days despite bad reviews and word of mouth.

The film has a 80's-90's kind of simple plot where from the start everyone including the actors and audiences know who is good and who is bad. The events just keep unfolding at a slow pace without any thrill or drama. The music is ordinary.

Sonam Kapoor in her designer dresses and heavy jewellery designed by her mother Sunita Kapoor looks beautiful and keeps  smiling and dancing on the director's tunes.

Armaan Kohli was last seen in Big Boss 7. Though he didn't win the show and later
even parted ways with his true love Tanisha he got a major role in Salman's film. He and Neil Nitin Mukesh get many scenes to show their potential but  they remain expressionless throughout.

Anupam Kher has a very simple role and gets to say dialogues which he could say even in his sleep. 

Amrita Rao was offered to play the role of Prem's sister which she refused and it was then offered to Swara Bhasker. Her role is also very simple and when she is not chopping vegetables she also gets to dress up and dance with other characters.

The only thing which is not simple in the film are it's grand sets which look straight out of either Sanjay Leela Bhansali's  or Karan Johar's films. We wonder in which part of India are these huge palaces present where princess eat kachoris packed in Haldiram's boxes and princes order electronic gadgets from Chroma. 

In a line if Salman Khan's Jai Raam ji ki said at the start of the film has the power to make the film rise above all bad word of mouth and become a blockbuster just think what can it do for you if you utter it daily.

One time watch. Can be seen when is premiered on TV.

Hero ~ Great Expectations Quashed

Release date - 11'th Sep 2015

One Word which describes the film - Disappointing

Best Dialogue - 'Main bhale hi Radha se door ho jaun, par zindagi bhar usi se pyar karunga. Koi rok sake to rok le.'

Genre - Romance/Action

Music -Amaal Mallik, Meet Bros Anjjan, Sachin-Jigar

Producer - Salman Khan, Subhash Ghai

Story - Based on Hero by Subhash Ghai

Direction - Nikhil Advani

Cast - Sooraj Pancholi, Athiya Shetty, Aditya Pancholi, Tigmanshu Dhulia

Budget- 35 Crores approximately

In the 90's there came a flood of romantic films and along with it a lot of new heroes like Salman, Amir, Saif, Akshay and Ajay Devgan. In 25 years the quality of the films and the tastes of the audiences changed but we still get to see the same 45 plus heroes romancing new heroines.

Sooraj Pancholi came as a breath of fresh air, an innocent face, well chiseled body, good dancing skills and a nice voice. Athiya Shetty looked like a younger version of Sonam Kapoor, same height, same body language, chirpy voice and exactly no expressions on her face even in the most bizarre situations.

So these were the two debutantes with whom Salman Khan decided to make a film without any concern for the budget. Hero is the second film under the banner of Salman Khan Films after the blockbuster Bajrangi Bhaijaan and is the remake of Hero (983) directed by Subhash Ghai so obviously there were huge expectations from the film.

Sooraj is shown as a hot blooded small time gunda who spends half of his time in the gym and the other half in fighting with shady characters and helping the needy. When he made his entry one of the goons said , ' Hero ki tarah enttry mari hai to khud ko hero samajhne laga hai?'

Athiya is the pampered girl of IG Mathur who loves partying, clubbing, clicking selfies and dancing.

The film started in a good way and the innocent love between the youngsters looked quite real. But lack of proper screenplay and absence of powerful dialogues soon made the film too dull and boring.

Whereas in the original film Meenakshi gets to say dialogues like, Pyar ek imtihaan hai, aur nateeje se darne waalo ka pyar jhoota hota hai' in this film Athiya says lines like,'Agar aapne mujhe isilye mara kyunki main Suraj se pyaar karti hoon to mujhe phir se maariye.' 

Tigmanshu Dhulia plays the role of  IGP Shrikanth Mathur which was played by Late Shammi Kapoor . He looks tired and exhausted in most  of the scenes and the only dialogue which you will remember once the film ends is,'Beta mujhe Sir nahi Daddy kaho .' After playing a powerful character like Ramadhir Singh in Gangs of Wasseypur (2012) and directing the award winning  Paan Singh Tomar(2012), Tigmanshu should stay away from doing such films.

Aditya Pancholi plays the role of Pasha which was done by Late Amrish Puri in the original film. He is shown in silken kurtas and freshly laundered dhotis which make us wonder that in which prisons such facilities are given. His dialogues of taking revenge from those who have wronged him sound too real but in the full film we hardly get to see his words turning to action.

When Amrish Puri said,' Mere hi kutte ne mujhe kaata' there was disgust and seething anger in his voice but Aditya saying,'15 saal ka pyar 15 din mai hi bhool gaya, sounded more like a plea for help. That's the power of dialogues and their effect on the viewers.

The only dialogue which had an impact was when Athiya says,'Pyar karne wale kabhi darte nahi, jo darte hain wo pyar karte nahi', which we all know is a hit song from the original film.

In an interview Salman admitted that releasing the music just a week prior to the film's release wasn’t a great idea. Because of Salman's popularity the "Main Hoon Hero Tera" sung by him became a hit but other songs despite being melodious failed to click with the audience.

In a line Hero has Zero chances of being another super-hit film and this is that one film which even loyal Salman Khan fans will give a miss.

Not worth spending money on. Can be seen when is aired on TV.

Review of Dabangg2

Release date- 21'st Dec 2012

One Word which describes the film -  Déjà vu

Best  Dialogue – “Waqt tumhara kharab aaya hain aur din hum gine! “

Genre -  Action / Comedy

Story - Dilip Shukla

Music -  Sajid-Wajid


Producer –  Arbaaz Khan , Malaika Arora Khan

Direction -  Arbaaz Khan

Cast- Salman Khan , Sonakshi Sinha , Prakash Raj

Budget - 40 crores

Dabangg2 has three features which can make it a hit 

1.Chulbul Pandey

2.Kung- fu Pandey 

3.Robin Hood Pandey 

This should give an idea of what is in store for you .It was totally a one-man show .

The film started with stills from the earlier Dabangg  . Then came our hero in a flying car breaking bones of anyone who dared to do any wrong deed.

When a sequel comes it is natural for the audience to compare it with the original. Dabangg2 fails to create the excitement which was in the first part .The first part had so many parallel stories ,hero's relation with his mother , his step father , his step brother , his attraction to the village belle ,her story with her father and brother ,his step brother's love story with Nirmala and last but not the least a villain who gave competition to a bare chested Salman Khan .

This film was full of references from the first part , random songs which came from nowhere making the film look more like an extended version of Chitrahaar . Vinod Khanna , Arbaaz Khan , Mahi Gill etc had such small and insignificant roles that it was very clear that the producers and director had clearly focused on the most reliable element Salman Khan . Even a powerful actor like Prakash Raj  had no significant role or memorable dialogues.

Sonakshi Sinha as a devoted wife who wore sarees with printed blouses which showed her full back , looked pretty but had none of the 'thappad se dar nahi lagta sahab,pyar se lagta hai ' kind of punch lines.
Even Malaika Arora's one minute item dance had none  of the karizma  of Munni Badnam .

In a  line Dabangg2 was made just to cash on the current popularity of Salman Khan and the makers have completely succeeded in their mission .
It's a Salman film so most of the people will watch it in theater but it is better not to expect much from it. 

Ek Tha Tiger - Love Beyond Borders

One line which describes the film – Jab pyar kiya to darna kya !

Best Dialogue –  Jis mohabbat main deewangi nahi, wo mohabbat hi nahi.

Genre- Romance / Action

Director-  Kabir Khan

Story – Aditya Chopra

Producer –  Aditya Chopra 

Music Director -  Sohail Sen , Sajid-Wajid  (Mashallah )

Cast – Salman Khan , Katrina Kaif , Ranvir Shorey , Girish Karnad

Budget –  75 crores

Rating - 1.5 star for first half, 3.5 star for second half 

We all were super excited for this Salman Khan starrer where he plays the role of a RAW agent who travels to exotic locations like Havana ,Ireland, Istanbul .The film started with shaky camera ,flying cigarette butts and currency notes which according to me was not the perfect entry for Salman.

The film dragged for another half an hour and many scenes reminded us of the fiasco called Agent Vinod .I was thinking that Wanted  had better dialogues, Dabangg had better music, Ready had better comic moments and Bodyguard  had a better looking and fitter Salman so what was there in this film which  will make it the top grossing film of the year.  

Post interval I got the answer to my question. The USP of the film is not it's action scenes or exotic locations. It's the chemistry between Salman and Katrina. Tiger feels such great love for Zoya which we keep reading in books. He is ready to lose his everything ,even bet his own life for his lady love. Even the cynics will feel something when Salman says , "Jab pyar ho raha tha tab kisine bataya nahi ki dushman hai, aur ab pyar ho gaya hai to koyi bata nahi raha ki dushman kyon hai  ?"

Salman has done everything which his fans expect ,danced ,done some bone breaking action scenes and taken off his shirt too ! There is no one liner in the film like  mujhpar ek ehsaaan karna /  ek baar  main commitment kar deta hoon, which stay in everyone's memory even after the film is long forgotten . 

Katrina has done a  good job.Most of the times she just had to look pretty but she has done some action sequences too.

Girish Karnad and Ranbeer Shorey did justice to their small roles. 

One thing which I missed while watching the film was the audience's applause and whistles which is a common feature in every Salman film . There was just one scene near the climax where everyone clapped which you will know when you watch it. 

In a line it's better to watch the film as soon as possible and get over the tiger obsession .

Good timepass and post interval paisa-vasool. Can be seen in theater with family.