Shaandaar ~ Vikas Bahl redefines the Heights of 'Chutzpah'

Release date -22'nd October 2015

One Word which describes the film - Absurd/ Senseless/ Weird/ Stupid/ Silly (One word is not enough to describe this film)

Worst Dialogue - 

Pankaj Kapoor- ' Tu samajhta kya hai apne aap ko?'

Shahid Kapoor - 'Kuch nahi Sir, tucch praani. Aam admi. Raju Hirani.'

Genre - Comedy/ Drama

Music - Amit Trivedi

Producer - Anurag Kashyap, Vikramaditya Motwane, Karan Johar, Madhu Mantena

Story- Vikas Bahl, Chaitally Parmar

Direction -Vikas Bahl

Cast -Pankaj Kapur, Shahid Kapoor, Alia Bhatt, Sanah Kapoor, Sanjay Kapoor

Budget- 50 Crores

How times change in a year. If last year Vikas Bahl was the most popular Bollywood director, winning almost all awards for Queen, this year he will be the most criticized person for making a really weird and senseless film and then calling it Shaandaar!
After SRK's over the top promotions for RaOne, Shaandar must be the next film to promote itself on every reality show. In fact the chemistry between Shahid and Alia Bhatt during promotions was 100 times better than their chemistry in the film.

In an interview Alia said that, "What I really liked about the concept is that Vikas came to me with only five lines. He said that it's a love story of two insomniacs, there is a destination wedding, there are some four characters that seem completely crazy to me." 

Guess Vikas himself too didn't work anymore on the concept as the final story can also be narrated in 5 lines with lots of stupidity and sleep inducing moments. If only the characters had seen Shaandar themselves their insomnia could have been cured and the audience could have been saved from the torture.

Apart from a bad story line the film is full of stupid dialogues like

Alia - I can't believe...kabhi tumne kiyaa nahi hai....Hath mein kabhi fevicool nahi lagayaa hai..Aise..! 

I would really want to ask the makers of the film that who was the target audience for this film ?

It's a well known fact that when Karan Johar saw the film he was not very happy with the end results and wanted the director to edit it and also  re shoot some parts. The film has Karan's touch as there were castles, girls whose only aim in life was to dress up in shortest of dresses, pout and click selfies and last but not the least a 'Mehendi with Karan' sequence.

To create sensation among the audience a totally irrelevant to the story, Alia Bhatt in a bikini scene was added in the film which was the most discussed topic on social networks few weeks back.

Shahid Kapoor and Alia Bhatt have blindly followed the director and have mouthed the really weird lines with supreme confidence. 

Pankaj Kapoor is a great actor but he has no scope to show his acting talents.

Sanjay Kapoor has tried to copy big brother Anil Kapoor both in terms of dressing style and dialogue delivery but guess it's his bad luck that success continues to elude him.

The two dance numbers Shaam shaandaar and Gulabo are good but we have seen them so many times in promos that even they failed to bring any life in the already lifeless story.

Because of the promotions too much hype was created and the film got an opening day collection of 13 Crores. But now with bad reviews and  negative word of mouth it will be a difficult task for the film to earn decent numbers over the weekend. 

In a line there is not much to enjoy in the film except Alia Bhatt's pretty face but after some time the weird story starts getting on your nerves.
Avoidable. If you are a big Alia Bhatt fan or under 10 then you can watch. 

Review of Pyar Ka Punchnama 2 ~ Stress Buster

Release date - 16'th October 2015

One Word which describes the film- Hilarious

Best Dialogue -
Girl- ' Password Batao.'
Boyfriend-' Dubara Mat Puchna 
 . . .D..O..B..A..R..A Mat Puchna.' 

Genre - Comedy/ Romance

Music -Hitesh Sonik, Sharib-Toshi

Producer - Abhishek Pathak, Viacom 18 Motion Pictures, Panorama Studios Production

Story & Direction -Luv Ranjan

Cast -Kartik Aaryan, Nushrat Bharucha, Sunny Singh,Sonalli Sehgall, Ishita Sharma, Omkar Kapoor

Budget- 15 Crores approximately

Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2 is a sequel to the 2011 sleeper hit Pyaar Ka Punchnama.

Till now you have heard that 'Happily Married' is an oxymoron but Luv Ranjan films will make you believe that there are no happy couples. In just 3-4 months the initial excitement is replaced by emotional atyachaars and drama. The relation which started with sophisticated English shifts to normal hindi and ends with shuddh desi gaalis.

  

The film is made on exactly the same story line where three best friends sharing a flat in Delhi find love and how that love turns sour. Unlike the first part this film has no heavy emotional drama and is full of comic scenes and humorous conversations.

The USP of this film is that the dialogues are not typical one liners but long sentences which we actually use in real life. Most of the dialogues are said in such fast speed that if you turn your attention towards your phone to check your whattsapp messages you will totally miss them. 

We all remeber Rajat's 7-minute famous monologue which became quite viral on the internet.

Chaudhry- Kya, problem kya hai?

Rajat- Problem ! Problem yeh hai ki wo ladki hai..

and then it went to 

'Ek to aaj ki baat pe argument aaj hoga hi nahi,aaj ki baat par jhagada hoga do mahine baad, yahaan saala yaad hi nahi rehta hai do mahine pehle hua kya tha !

Ladkiyaan bacha ke rakhti hain,yeh chota hatiyar nahi bada hatiyar haiisse badi ladai mein use karenge ' which had us all laughing our hearts out. Here too we have a similar scene and it's equally hilarious.

In the first part Luv Ranjan gave this gyaan that , 'A happy woman is a myth'. Here he tells us that ,' Bribe is an institution started by women'. I actually like the way he thinks.

In an interview he was asked that if he is anti-women. He said that, 'People always have the need to tag others. If anyone is putting a label on me and saying that I am a misogynist, I can’t do anything about it. Our metropolitan societies have become hypersensitive and we can’t take a joke.' 

Here I want to tell those who are making such remarks that he did make a sweet love story in 2013 , Akaash Vani which totally bombed at the box office. So what's wrong in making a film which the audience is willing to see. In many scenes the audience was clapping and even gave standing ovation to the actors. 

Omkar Kapoor, who has made his debut as a lead actor in the film has worked as a child artist in films like Mela, Hero No 1, Masoom, Judaai and Judwaa . His dialogue,' pehle engineers ki izzat to bacha loon' received lots of claps and whistles from the audience.  

Sunny Singh is the surprise element of the film. When you look at him the first time he looks like just another guy but the wide range of expressions he has given in the film will make you think that he is a seasoned actor. 

Other 4 actors you have already seen in the first part and they have done justice to their roles.

The film got a 30% opening and collected almost 7 crores on day 1 which is quite good considering it's low budget.

In a line as Ms Balan told us in The Dirty Picture, 'filmein sirf teen cheezo ke wajah se chalti hai ... entertainment, entertainment, entertainment' ,this film is  that entertainment.

Must watch for Generation X and Y. Will be remembered for it's dialogues.

Jazbaa ~ Rekindling our passion for dialoguebazi

Release date -9'th October 2015

One Word which describes the film - Electrifying

Best Dialogue - Sharafat ki duniya ka kissa hi khatam, ab jaisi duniya waise hum

Genre - Thriller/ Drama

Music -Amjad-Nadeem, Arko, Badshah

Producer - White Feather Films
Viiking Media & Entertaiment

Story - Remake of the 2007 South Korean film Seven Days

Direction -Sanjay Gupta

Cast -Aishwarya Rai, Irrfan Khan, Shabana Azmi, Chandan Roy Sanyal, Siddhanth Kapoor, Jackie Shroff

Budget- 40 Crores approximately

Sanjay Gupta is known to make action thrillers generally inspired from foreign films. Kaante(2002) was inspired from Reservoir Dogs and Zinda (2006) was a remake of the Korean film Oldboy. Shootout at Lokhandwala (2007) and Shootout at Wadala (2013) were inspired from real incidents. 
Aishwarya Rai Bachchan who was last seen in Guzaarish (2010) makes her comeback with Jazbaa. Though the film was supposed to be made for Ashwarya but from starting of the film to its climax it's Irffan Khan's dialogues which steal the show.
The film starts with a senior officer telling Irffan Khan
'Inspector Yohan, tumhara ye Amitabh bachchan look aur tevar yaha kam nahi karega' to which Irffan says ,'To aap bataiye main kya Singham banke ghumu?'
In between he has many other ace liners like 

'Aajkal shareef sirf woh hota hai jiske mobile mein password nahi hota.' 

'Yahan sabka ek hi takia kalam hai, hazar ke note pe bapu ko salaam hai.'

'Main kahan rehta hun, yahan to intezar rehta hai.' and Irffan's personal favorite, 'Mohabbat thi isliye jaane diya..zid hoti toh baahon mein hoti.'

Ashwarya as Advocate Anuradha Verma has done full justice to her role. She is shown as  a true professional when Yohan asks her ,' Tum hamesha guilty logo ka case kyo leti ho?' and she says ,' kyonki begunaah hame afford nahi kar sakte.' 

Later we see a tormented mother when she tells the accused,'Tujhe zara bhi andaza nahi ki ek maa par kya guzarti hai, tera case bhi ek maa lad rahi hai, waqeel nahi.

Shabana Azmi has a small but vital role in the film and she plays it with full ease.

Jackie Shroff has a blink and miss role which could have been done by any junior artist. After giving a strong performance in Brothers, he totally disappoints in this film.

Chandan Roy Sanyal as the convicted guy manages to leave an impact in the minds of the audience even in the presence of the talented Irfan Khan and the beautiful Aishwarya Rai.

Siddhant Kapoor (son of Shakti Kapoor) whom I always fail to recognise is just average.

There are just two songs in the film. The slow song 'Jaane tere shehar' picturised on Irfaan when he is drowning his sorrows in a glass of scotch is quite melodious. The director has also added a dance no. ' Aaj raat ka scene' by Badshah to add some masala to the film.

In a line after a long time we have a film which is fast paced, full of twists and turns and totally entertaining.

Paisa- wasool. Must Watch.

Singh Is Bliing ~ Comedy of Errors

Release date - 2'nd Oct 2015

One Word which describes the film - Stupidity Reloaded

Best Dialogue- 'Singh jahan pair rakhta hai ... woh ilaaka uska ho jaata hai.'

Genre - Action/ Comedy 

Music -Meet Bros Anjjan, Manj Musik, Sajid-Wajid

Producer - Akshay Kumar, Ashvini Yardi, Jayantilal Gada

Story-  Shiraz Ahmed

Direction -Prabhu Deva

Cast -Akshay Kumar, Amy Jackson, Lara Dutta, Kay Kay Menon, Rati Agnihotri

Budget- 50 Crores approximately

In 2008, producer Vipul Amrutlal Shah and director Anees Bazmee gave us a character Happy Singh who was a good at heart simpleton and used to tell whoever he met,' Main to sach bolta hoon, acchi apne aap lag jati hai.'

After 7 years the producers and director have changed and now we have Raftaar Singh who is an equally happy go lucky guy and loves to spend time with his friends and according to his father has this bad habit of leaving all jobs unfinished.

The film is Akshay Kumar's journey from Punjab to Goa, then again to Punjab and again to Goa, then to Romania and finally back to pavilion Punjab.

Though the film is called Singh is Bliing, it's not Singh who shines but his love interest Amy Jackson who not only gets equal screen space but also better action scenes. In fact it's really surprising to see a slender actress like Amy do action stunts with such perfection that you will be reminded of Hollywood characters like The Bride from  Kill Bill or Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. But then as it's Bollywood the director had to spoil her charm by making her dance in silly songs like Cinema Dekhe Mamma and Dil Kare Chu Che!

Lara Dutta who made her debut in Andaaz opposite Akshay Kumar in 2003 is now reduced to playing the role of a translator which any junior artist could have played.

Kay Kay Menon's entry is good and his dialogue,'I am too good' remind us of the great roles he has done in the past but here he gets no opportunity of showing his talent.

Rati Agnihotri plays the role of Akshay's mother and they are shown sharing a great bond which we can feel when during a telephonic conversation she asks 

'Bada khush lag raha hai tu, ladki kaun hai? ' to which Akshay replies, 'Kamaal hai maa, tujhse kuch nahi chupa sakta.' 

The director has combined all these characters along with lots of junior artists in a 2 hours 25 minutes film which has absolutely no story. To make up for the lack of screenplay there are many songs and dances and some comedy scenes which will make you laugh but by the end make you wish that all this glamour and bling could have done better with a good story. There is also a scene where the hero tries to pass off a bull dog as a lion!

But the tragedy is that this Akshay Kumar starrer got a better opening and business than his last two meaningful films Baby and Gabbar is Back.

The film collected around 21 crores on Friday because of Gandhi Jayanti and almost 65 crores in 5 days.

In a line if you liked Happy Singh and his mind boggling tactics of making you laugh then maybe you can come to like Raftaar Singh too.

Time-pass. Can be seen for Amy Jackson.

Review of Calendar Girls

Release date - 25'th September 2015

One Word which describes the film - Déjà vu

Best Dialogue - 'Yahan pe log rone ke liye kandha nahi dete, marne tak ka intezar karte hai.'

Genre - Drama

Music -Meet Bros Anjjan, Amaal Mallik

Producer - Sangeeta Ahir, Bhandarkar Entertainment

Story & Direction -Madhur Bhandarkar

Cast - Akanksha Puri, Avani Modi, Kyra Dutt, Ruhi Singh, Satarupa Pyne, Keith Sequeira, Mita Vashishth

Budget- 10 Crores approximately

Madhur Bhandarkar is known for making films with strong female characters. Whether it was Tabu in Chandni Bar, Raveena Tandon in Satta, Konkona Sen Sharma in Page 3, Bipasha Basu in Corporate, Neetu Chandra inTraffic Signal, Priyanka Chopra in Fashion or Kareena Kapoor in Heroine each character was well written and managed to touch the audiences heart.

Calendar Girls has five characters Nandita from Hyderabad(Akanksha Puri), Nazneen from London (Avan Modi), Sharon from Goa(Kyra Dutt), Mayuri from Rohtak (Ruhi Singh) and  Paroma from Kolkata (Satarupa Pyne). They are selected by a leading company to pose for that year's calendar.

The girls with their photographer played by Rohit Roy go to Mauritius for the calendar shoot. In just 1 song and 10 minutes the calendar shoot wraps up and the film moves to how the lives of the girls change after their rise to fame. So for the next 1 hour 40 minutes we get to see the same shocking truths, same betrayals, same artificial lives and behaviors which we have seen numerous times.

We see one character telling the other, 'Pakistani ladkiyan bhi utne hi bold kam karti hai jitni baki ladkiya karti hai, balki kabhi kabhi usse jyada bhi', maybe the reason why the film is banned in Pakistan.

Then we have VJ turned actor, Keith Sequeira telling another character ,'Cricket league is desh ka sabse bada gambling adda hai', which reminds you of Emran Hashmi's , Jannat.
Then one character's manager tells her that some big shot is shooting in the neighboring studio and we are shown that the big shot is none other than Madhur Bhandarkar. Madhur tells the girl, 'Mujhe hero ke nakhre nahin jhelne isliye main heroine-oriented films banata hoon' conveniently forgetting that he directed Dil Toh Baccha Hai Ji (2011) too.

Khwaishein written by Kumaar, sung by Arijit Singh and composed by Amaal Mallik is a melodious song

Kahaan le aayi khwahishein
Hai dard ki ye jo baarishein
Hai ghalti dil ki yaa phir
Hai waqt ki ye saazishein

But then there was a similar song sung by Shreya Ghoshal and composed by Salim & Sulaiman  in Bhandarkar's last film  Heroine (2012)

Zindagi ko dheere dheere

Dasti hain khwahishein

Aansun ko peete peete
Hansti hain khwahishein
Uljhi hui kashmakash mein
Umar kat jaati hai.

In an interview Bhandarkar said, 'My movies are not judgmental. I just show what happens in our society, sometimes there could be a solution and sometimes there may be none. Life goes on.'

So now that Calendar Girls has not done well at the box office (6 Crores in 7 days),  Madhur should also move on and try to present something new to his fans. 

In a line apart from the 5  debutantes there is nothing new which you haven't seen before and it's a sum total of all the revelations Bhandarkar has shown in his earlier films in all these years.

Time-pass. Can be seen if you have nothing better to do.